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Showing posts from January, 2019

Day 20 Still on Track

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Well I have been so busy that I haven't had time to write a new entry for a week!  However, it's Monday and I am back at the laptop.... I haven't fallen 'off the wagon' just in case you were wondering what kind of busy I have been!  However, I did feel a big temptation to have a drink on Friday (my one and only time of the week that seems indoctrinated that I absolutely MUST have alcohol!).  I think this is a  hangover from my younger years when there was something wrong with me if I wasn't out partying on a Friday night.  I went from those years to spending Fridays at a friend's house, usually armed with Brandy and then to drinking at home when the children were in bed.  So, I guess upon reflection it is going to be the hardest night to change.  Anyway, I soldiered on and I often find once I get past 8pm I am no longer bothered and the temptation has gone - at least for wine if nothing else! It has really helped that my husband is off the alcoho...

Day 12, A Little Wobble...

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It was my first little wobble yesterday and it was really, totally unexpected.  I think I subconsciously ticked off that I was almost through another weekend without alcohol so put myself in the temporary 'safe' zone!  I was having a lovely family day (with a little stress from the teenager thrown in for good measure) and decided to make a roast dinner.  A roast dinner - a safe little family meal?  No, not at all. You see, whenever I make a roast dinner it is nearly always accompanied (since I was about 27) with a glass of wine.  As you can see from the image here, I couldn't even find a picture of a roast dinner without wine.  The weird thing was, it wasn't until I was about to serve the dinner that I felt a real pang for a glass of wine.  I didn't succumb to one - well I didn't have any in the house for a start so good thinking there Batman.  However, I didn't enjoy my lunch as much as I had been looking forward to it and felt like there w...

T.A.R.D.I.S....

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I missed posting yesterday – not because I gave in to my Friday night regular cravings but because I was busy!   A friend, who has been teetotal for over 6 months called by and we enjoyed, and not loosely enjoyed, we really enjoyed a tonic with gin flavouring.   If you are from the UK you can buy Gin & Tonic flavouring and also a Prosecco flavouring from Sainsburys.   Added to tonic they really do taste like the real thing (you only need a couple of drops per glass) and they are really great for times when you feel stressed and need a drink.   The placebo affect seems to hit my brain and tell my shoulders (and everything else) to relax!   The great thing is, after one you do not feel the urge to go and have another, and another….. After all, this is the kind of effect we're looking for when we drink alcohol, right?  Anything that relaxes us without the dreadful after effects.   Sleep isn't coming to me very well at the moment and I don't ...

More Time, I Hear You Say?

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This maybe post no. 2 but it's actually Day 10 of my Soberfest.  Not feeling too bad with regards to missing the wine etc but it is only Thursday and the weekend looms!  I have also fallen lucky this weekend as I don't have any social events organised that involve drinking. I got to thinking today about how much time in the last 20 years, which is when I began to drink in earnest, I have actually spent hungover, or in that awful limbo where you are not actually hungover and still go about your day, but have little energy.  Those days when all you can think of is bedtime! So, if I have drank alcohol for 3 nights per week for the last 20 years and at least one of those nights were to excess (I'm being kind here) then let's say that the 12 waking hours the next day were wasted (and let's face it were pretty much torture and I was probably of little use to anyone) then in the last 20 years I have wasted a minimum of 12,480 hours being hungover, or 520 x 24 hour...

Introduction...Who Am I?

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OK, let me start by telling you a little bit about me.  I am a regular 46 year old married working mum with 3 children, a dog, a cat and a rabbit.  I love drinking wine.  I love drinking beer.  I love drinking spirits.  Don't get me wrong, I don't drink every day, nor do I drink to excess every time I do drink.  I DO however, since turning 40, suffer from monstrous hangovers; they start about 3am with blood curdling anxiety, an inability to get back to sleep (until it's time to get up) and they last all day.  I never, ever vomit - sometimes I think it would be better if I did.  I rarely get any physical symptoms apart from tiredness and aching muscles.  Yet sometimes I yearn for physical symptoms in the hope that the mental symptoms will disappear.  I suffer from blackouts, memory loss, anxiety and that constant feeling of dread. People who know me will probably find it absurd to think that I feel the need to quit alcohol.  My hus...